I've had a recent bout of illness, meaning I've watched more TV than usual. Whilst laid up on the sofa I saw how many wedding TV shows are out there now, but one in particular caught my eye.
Now wedding shows which portray the bride-to-be as a selfish, maniacal horror of a woman (or 'bridezilla' to use the popular term) are nothing new – there are many programmes from America in this vein. However, one format that has recently been imported into the UK is one called 'Bulging Brides' and to be honest, I found this quite worrying.
The basic premise is this, in case you haven't seen it: the bride-to-be has a beautiful wedding dress, but there is a catch: it's two sizes too small. And they only have six weeks before the wedding to slim into it.
Now, maybe I haven't seen enough episodes, but the ones that I have seen haven't really explained why they have a dress two sizes too small – when I saw the advert for it I wondered if it was an amazing designer wedding gown that could only be won by the bride if she slims. However, the ones I've watched just seem to be a wedding dress considered to be 'perfect' – aside from the fact it's too small.
This upset me. Perhaps I am being ridiculous, but I thought that the perfect wedding dress was one that flattered what you are now – not a big stick to beat yourself with for the six weeks before the wedding. I mean, for heavens sake, isn't the six week build-up to the wedding day stressful enough without needing to lose a stone in weight?
One positive message
Of course, I should be fair and say that the show teaches the bride-to-be how to exercise and eat well, and hopefully change her habits so that she doesn't continue on a path to life-threatening obesity.
But the bigger message seems to be: you can only be beautiful on your wedding day if you are a lot thinner than you are now.
Do we need this kind of pressure?
Everywhere we look, we are bombarded by images of emaciated film stars and unhealthy looking women who are being lauded as beautiful when they are 20% below a healthy weight. I am convinced that the pressure put on women by the media is not only depressing, but ultimately damaging.
The average woman – and average bride-to-be – doesn't earn millions of pounds a year from the way they look, or how many inches they lose off their hips to gain column inches in the papers. We don't have personal trainers and dedicated nutritionists and diet experts cooking every single calorie-controlled meal for us.
And quite frankly, we're all a bit too busy for that, aren't we?
Isn't there more to life than being rake thin? Is the weight of the bride something that should be made into a spectacle?
Many brides-to-be lose weight on the lead up to the wedding
All that running around and nerves can make you slimmer, it's true. I lost half a stone without even trying, I was such a worry pot. And many brides choose to slim – and that's fine of course, because that is a decision based on what they want to do for their day which starts with them first – not the dress.
It just seems backwards to me to choose a dress that's too small and then slim into it. Why not think about losing weight a year or six months before the wedding, make positive changes to diet and exercise that lead to a healthier lifestyle, then pick a dress that makes whatever shaped body you have look fabulous?
Did your fiancé insist you be slimmer for the wedding day?
I'm guessing he didn't. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I'd like to think he fell in love with you as you are now, and wants to marry you because of who you are, and not your waist measurement.
Can we just take a step back and really look at the messages we're being given?
Maybe I am taking this all too seriously. Maybe thousands of people watch these programmes with a pinch of salt, shake their heads with pity at the starving celebrities and love their own feminine curves regardless (yes, we're supposed to have curves). Perhaps teenage girls across the land look at a size zero pop stars and think "wow, thank goodness I don't look so unhealthy."
Perhaps all the brides-to-be out there have a laugh, look forward to their wedding day without feeling any pressure to lose weight at all, and just find something that flatters and loves their body as much as their fiancé does.
Let's hope so, eh?
