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Emma's Wedding Diary: Alternative weddings

It still hasn't really sunk in that Joe finally proposed, but I thought I'd better start thinking about the kind of wedding we could have. We'll probably have a traditional church one but there's no harm in looking at other options so I've done my homework.

Alternative weddings but not alternative legal bits

There is actually only a tiny thing that is required to make a wedding legally recognised. Whatever happens, both of us will have to declare that we "know not of any lawful impediment why I should not be joined in matrimony" and the presence of two witnesses. That's all, we wouldn't have to exchange rings or say vows or anything.

One option that is very popular with people not wanting traditional ceremonies is to get the legal bit done at the register office the day before with the minimum people required, and then have the full do the next day, with rings, vows and the whole caboodle.

Alternative wedding themes - imagination is the limit!

So what could we do if we decide against the church one? Well, our imagination is the limit if we get the legal bits done the day before. I read about a couple who got married dressed as Robin Hood and Maid Marion. No chance of Joe doing anything like that. Some kind of theme would certainly make the day memorable for everyone but it would be a lot of work because all of the different aspects of the day would have to fit in. Whilst I love the idea of shaping every detail to fit a theme, there's no point having some kind of renaissance extravaganza if the best reception venue has 1960's architecture. And what about the clothes for the wedding party and guests - would we make them all dress up too. Whilst I might love the thought of lots of men in tights wondering around, in reality it may just not work for a wedding with as many guests as we will be having.

A civil ceremony may be the way to go

But we don't have to be so extreme. If we decide against a religious wedding we can have a civil ceremony. These have just as much gravitas - my friend Sarah's wedding was conducted by a humanist celebrant, just without the religious focus. There can still be readings, songs etc, but in a civil ceremony we wouldn't be able to have any readings from any religious text, nor any hymns.

Humanist celebrants

Sarah has given me the contact details for the celebrant who conducted their ceremony. I've stuck them on the fridge so I don't lose them. She was from the British Humanist Association, Sarah said they were a great help, really supportive and very experienced at helping couples design the ceremony that they want to have. The celebrant can come to our house to discuss it all with us and give suggestions and advice. The fee was very reasonable but is connected to their travel expenses so I'll have to ask when I call.

Joe's ideal alternative wedding...

I'll see what Joe thinks about it all. Knowing him he'll want us to get married whilst skydiving or something mad! We may end up with the traditional church wedding anyway, I don't think I could break it to Mum that we wouldn't be having a white wedding with all the trimmings...