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Emma's Wedding Diary: Organising the Wedding Ceremony

There are lots of different rules and guidelines to bear in mind when organising a wedding ceremony, so getting the legal side straight at the beginning is the best bet. I found this in my Wedding Organizer Book so I'm keeping it to make sure that when my flights of fancy take hold, I'll know that we will definately be married in the eyes of the law.

'The minimum age to marry is sixteen. Those under eighteen must have the written consent of their parent or legal guardian before a marriage can take place. Marriages can take between 8am and 6pm any day of the week, but restrictions apply in individual churches and register offices. Witnesses have to be over eighteen.

"Notice of Marriage"

Except for people getting married in a Church of England or Church in Wales, each person has to give formal Notice of Marriage at the register office in the registration district where they live. They must have lived in the registration district for at least seven days immediately before giving Notice of Marriage. Fifteen days later a "Marriage Authority" is issued. The Marriage Authorities must be given to the registrar or minister conducting the marriage.

Notice of Marriage is valid for twelve months and therefore cannot be given until within twelve months of the wedding date. The fee is ?30 per person.

Documents needed to give Notice of Marriage:

1. Proof of Identity - birth certificate, and or passport. (Non-British subjects a passport or identity document must be produced).

2. Evidence of residence, drivers licence, utility bills

3. If divorced, the Decree Absolute

4. If widowed, the death certificate of spouse

5. If under 18, written consent from parent or legal guardian.

6. If applicable, name change deeds.

(Contact your Register Office first. Depending on individual circumstances, other documents may be required. Photocopies are unlikely to be accepted. Certified translations into English will be required).

Church of England and Church in Wales

Enquiry Centre Tel: 0207 898 1000

You can marry in the bride or groom's parish church. Clergy are authorised registrars so it is not necessary to give Notice of Marriage. Instead, banns are read on three Sundays before the wedding to announce your intention to marry. If one of you lives in a different parish the banns must be read there too and a certificate produced and given to the church where the ceremony is taking place to prove the banns were legally called. Once the banns have been read your marriage can take place within three months.

Marriage in another church, outside your parishes may be possible as long as certain requirements can be fulfilled. Your minister will be able to help and advise you.

At your first meeting it is wise to ask about restrictions regarding photography, video, music and throwing confetti. Nearer the wedding date, a wedding rehearsal will be arranged.

Church of Scotland

Tel: 0131 225 5722

Provided your minister is in agreement, a Church of Scotland ceremony can take place anywhere as long as it has a fixed address. There are no residency requirements but 15 days notice must be given at the register office in the district in which you want to marry. This also applies to civil weddings.

Roman Catholic

Marriage Care Tel: 020 7371 1341

Priests are authorised to solemnise marriages, but you must give Notice of Marriage to your local superintendent registrar(s) as well. To marry in a Catholic Church at least one of you needs to have been baptised in the Catholic faith. For Catholics wishing to marry in another Christian church, or who wish to marry someone not baptised, a dispensation must be obtained.

Baptist Union

Tel: 01235 517700

Methodist Church House

Tel: 0207 486 5502

United Reformed Church

Tel: 0207 916 2020

If you are marrying in a Baptist, Methodist or United Reformed church you will need to give Notice of Marriage at your local register office(s). If the minister is not authorised to solemnise your wedding, you will need to arrange for the registrar to attend.

Jewish Weddings

Marriage Council Tel: 0208 203 6311

You must give Notice of Marriage at your local register office(s). At least three weeks before the wedding you should apply to the chief rabbi for authorisation. You will be asked to provide your parents' marriage certificate and your birth certificate. Apart from in synagogues, the wedding can be solemnised anywhere provided the service is held beneath a Chuppah (wedding canopy). Weddings can be held on any day outside the Sabbath (from sunset on Friday until sunset on Saturday).

Asian Weddings Sikh Cultural Society

Tel: 0181 952 1215

Muslim Council

Tel: 020 8903 9024

Hindu Cultural Association

Tel: 01384 243244

Islamic Cultural Centre

Tel: 020 7724 3363

Notice of Marriage must be given at your local register office(s). The mosque or temple may be officially recognised to conduct weddings, but generally there is a civil ceremony at either a register office or in approved premises and then the religious ceremony can take place in the mosque, temple or hall, etc.

Humanist Weddings

Tel: 020 7079 3580

Notice of Marriage must be given at your local register office(s). To be a legal marriage it has to take place in a register office or a building licensed for weddings where the registrar officiates.

Service of Blessing

After a civil wedding you may wish to have your marriage blessed in church, but it is at the discretion of the individual minister. Ask also about code of dress, number of guests and guidelines on floral and music arrangements.

Second Marriages

Some ministers are willing to marry divorced people, ask first if your wish is to marry in church.

Reaffirmation of Wedding Vows

As nothing is changing in the eyes of the law, there are no legal requirements. Therefore, it is very much a case of determining what you want your day to mean. It is customary for the couple to walk in as a couple and walk down the aisle together, although this is not obligatory.

Overseas Weddings

The Foreign and Commonwealth Office

Tel: 0207 270 1500

The ONS General Register Office

Tel: 0151 471 4200

Contact your local travel agent, the consulate of the country where you want to marry or The Foreign & Commonwealth Office to ascertain the laws and documentation required. They will also tell you if your marriage will be recognised in the UK. You may feel it worthwhile to double check details with your solicitor.

Marriages solemnised abroad in accordance with the laws of a foreign country cannot be registered in the UK. However, it may be possible to record the marriage with The ONS General Register Office.

Vows

"May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness, as to help you know your fullness." James Dillet Freeman's, Blessing for a Marriage

Every couple decides to get married for different reasons. How much you want to influence your wedding ceremony is, to a certain extent, up to you.

Of course, it is entirely acceptable to go along with the service outlined by your minister or the registrar.

However, if you want your ceremony to be individual, you could add some meaningful lines to your vows, or ask someone to do a reading for you, a special poem for example, that will make it more memorable for you and your guests. Look in poetry books and in books of quotations under "love" and "marriage".

If it is a civil ceremony you can get involved in practically the whole service. But remember, there can be no religious content and because it is a legal procedure you will have to work within the guidelines of the law. It also needs to be appreciated that it is a solemn occasion reflecting the seriousness of the step you are taking.

You should work closely with your minister or registrar who needs to approve anything you add at least a month before the wedding. He will probably request a written copy.'