Dear Emma,

I am desperate to have a grand wedding but we don't have the money and my fiance refuses to get a loan to cover the cost. Our parents can only help a little, how can I persuade him that it is worth it?

Ruth, Bolton

Dear Ruth,

I'm worried that you are being swept up in fantasy and that you need to stop and think about this. I'm afraid that I agree with your fiance, whilst having the wedding that you want is important, beginning your married life together in debt is not a good idea.

But all is not lost. Make a list of all of your ideal wedding elements and take a long look at them with your fiance. Prioritise the items in terms of which you are prepared to compromise on and which you could not bear to lose. For example, to keep your designer dress as an option, could you have a buffet instead of three course wedding breakfast?

Once you've done this it's time to get creative and look at ways to save as much money as you can to put towards the wedding and also achieve what you want in the most cost effective way possible. For example, simply having the wedding on any day other than Saturday can reduce the cost significantly. As for saving, decide upon a luxury that you can live without. If you take the money you would normally spend on takeaways, bottles of wine and maybe cigarettes if you smoke and put that into a piggy bank, you'll be surprised at how much may build up. You'll also look better on the big day too!