Dear Emma,

I suspect that my partner is planning to propose, there have been lots of strong hints and a slip up from his best friend. I don't want to sound horrible, but I'm worried that he'll choose a very traditional engagement ring and I think they're horrible. I don't want to say anything as I wouldn't want to spoil it. What can I do?

Gillian, Bath

Dear Gillian,

Lots of couples agree to buy the ring together so you could mention in conversation that a friend at work went shopping with her fiance etc. If you can't be that devious, drop hints of your own when you're next out shopping about the kind of jewellery you like. I should think that if he is planning to propose, he'll be sure to remember your preferences.

Dear Emma,

I am about to go back to work after a holiday abroad during which my boyfriend proposed. My office is very large, open plan and very sociable, I like it there and have friends but am nervous about telling everyone when I get back because we won't be able to invite everyone to the wedding. I'm worried I'll upset lots of colleagues, should I just not tell them until after the event?

Laura, Leeds

Dear Laura,

You may upset them more if you don't tell them anything at all! It seems to me that the worry about not being able to invite them to the wedding is getting in the way of sharing some very happy news. Why not tell the people at work about your engagement and drop in the fact that you'll be having a very small wedding so they know right away that the guest list is limited. This is very common and I'm sure they'll understand. Then arrange a get together after work to celebrate nearer to the date so that you can all have a drink and celebrate all together without anyone feeling left out. Then you get to have two parties too!

The custom of giving a ring to signify a betrothal is ancient, believed to have been widespread in Ancient Greece where rings were also given as a token of affection and friendship.

Pliny wrote about iron rings being sent as pledges to the bride in 1st century Rome. Roman law considered betrothal to be an important contract of future marriage with the sending of the iron betrothal ring (called the annulus pronobus) being a significant gesture to mark the promise. The hardness of the iron demonstrated the intended length of the commitment whilst also representing strength and permanence.

A very dramatic engagement gesture, though no longer practised widely in the modern day, was for a Filipino man to throw a spear into the front steps of his betrothed's home, indicating to everyone that the young girl who lived there had been spoken for.

In China, a traditional engagement gift is a whole roast pig, presented by the groom's family to that of the bride.

Do you have any customs to add? Let us know in the comments so we can all be inspired!