Ever since I interviewed Jane Dayus-Hinch, I've been thinking about my own wedding, specifically my decision to do it without a wedding planner. I wanted to share some of the reasons why I didn't engage the services of a wedding planner with you, and why I think now that the decision was wrong.
The perception of a wedding planner
Back then, the only wedding planners I had ever seen were ones in films. Father of the Bride springs to mind – think about how many scenes there are involving the incredibly flamboyant wedding planner who is constantly stretching the budget, being overbearing, making Steve Martin have panic attacks about the budget – the list of awful things the wedding planner did goes on.
That is a Hollywood comedy of course, not real life, but it did sink into my unconscious. It formed an idea of what I think it would be like to have a wedding planner, and sadly, that was wrong.
Control freakery gone mad
Let's be brutally honest here, I am a control freak. When I was planning my wedding I was caught in a miserable place between having to make lots of decisions I didn't want to make, (I had never in my life cared about what should go in the centre of tables and didn't want to start either), and not wanting to delegate any of them because I wanted to stay in control.
No wonder I often got stressed out!
This awful combination meant that I was too afraid that I would lose control of my wedding day if I employed a wedding planner. Oh dear, silly (younger) me.
Talking to Jane made me realise that the best wedding planners share your vision, they listen carefully to what you want, set the budget, and then go and make it happen without you having to do all of the niff naff and trivia that goes with it. And it's not like you only speak once and hope the wedding planner keeps on track – there is regular communication. So if something crops up, or you realise that what you thought you wanted wasn't actually any good, there is a chance to change it.
My maid-of-honour was amazing
Really, I can't emphasise this enough. She didn't just stand there and look pretty on the day (which she also did with aplomb I hasten to add). She helped keep things on track during the planning, gave me impromptu counselling and was rock solid throughout the entire day.
Now, you may have a best mate who is just as reliable, but if you don't, and something goes wrong on the day, who will sort it out? The hotel? Hopefully – if it's something they can correct. What if the DJ doesn't show up, or the photographer gets lost on the way to the venue?
Talking to Jane made me realise how lucky I was that everything went so smoothly. Having a wedding planner isn't just about the planning bit, it's also about having someone there on the day who's job it is to do all the worrying for you, and more importantly, someone who has a network of contacts who can solve problems should they arise.
If you're not planning to have a wedding organiser, what are the reasons?
I've looked at these reasons and rejected them – the only other one I can think of is money. We had a tight budget and I saw a wedding planner as extraneous. But good wedding planners can negotiate better rates for you, so even that reason has dissolved now.
Have I missed any out? If so, I'd love you to tell me in the comments below!
Over to you
I don't plan to get married again (it's our five year anniversary in August!) but if I did, I'd get a planner. How about you? What are you planning to do?
